Sleeping like a husband!

Sleep is a luxury.  It's probably one of many things that people without kids take for granted.  And by people without kids, I mean husbands.  I'm fairly sure that people without kids realize that their sleep will be affected by kids and babies... and yet somehow, most dads didn't get the message! :)

I warned Danny that this blog was coming... his response was, "Go ahead, I'll start my own blog and tell the real truth."  I'd believe him... except he sleeps too much to keep up with it! :)

I should be fair and tell the whole truth... I'm a morning person.  Danny isn't.  So it was never an obligation of Danny's to have to get up with the kids.  It was always just sort of agreed that we don't need two sleepy parents, so he shouldn't have to get up with them.  Except that things have changed slightly from my perspective with the addition of Ella...

Gracie was a phenomenal sleeper.  She slept until 8 or 9 most mornings from the very beginning.  Ella does too... except she still gets up around 5:30 a.m. to eat.  The problem with 5:30, is that by the time I get back to bed and start falling asleep, it's 7:00, and that's when Gracie wakes up.  So I've started staying up after feeding Ella.  That means most of the time, my days begin around 5:15 or 5:30.

It's only been the last month or so that our original arrangement has started causing me some... issues. And by issues, I mean bitterness, anger, and hatred towards my husband.  Of course all of those emotions are dripping with love... and I mostly laugh while I feel them!  So it's not 100% bitterness, just a tiny little dose.

We were at my cousin's house this weekend for a bonfire, and she recently had a baby as well.  Her husband is now off on parental leave (as is Danny) and Danny asked him how it was going.  He said he gets up most mornings at 6:00 because that's when the kids get up, and my cousin sleeps in until around 8.  Danny thought that was hilarious!!

I think all of the aggression towards his sleeping started about a month ago, when I started to sleep train Ella.  I was letting her "cry it out" in the middle of the night and just getting up in the morning to feed her.  After the second night of the crying, I said to Danny in the morning "did you hear how long and how many times she cried?  I hope it didn't keep you up."  I actually felt bad.  And then the little bugger said, "no, I didn't hear anything.  I put in earplugs."  Earplugs?  EARPLUGS?!?!  Something about that made me so mad.  I guess I felt that if he didn't have to get up, he could at least have the decency to be inconvenienced by the noise!  Nope, he wears earplugs to bed now.  So when Gracie is up at 7:00 and she's in a particularly heinous mood, and throws 15 temper tantrums before 7:30, and I'm on the verge of having a mental breakdown... Danny doesn't hear a thing.  Because he's wearing EARPLUGS!!

Most mornings Gracie and I come in and wake Danny up between 9 and 9:30.  He rarely comes out on his own.  The other morning, after I had been awake already for nearly 4 hours, we went to wake him up.  We sat on the bed and played for a few minutes, then he had the nerve to say to me:  "Sammy, can you take the girls out and just give me 5 minutes to myself to wake up?"  I stared at him.  I don't think I said anything... just stared at him!  Imagine, after nearly 4 hours with the bed to himself, he needed 5 minutes to himself!  

When he came out, we had a lengthy discussion about sleeping... It started with me saying that I realized that it was our arrangement that he sleep in while I get up with the girls.  But that was before my mornings began at 5:15, and I was probably getting a little burned out since I felt kind of bitter every time the lazy bugger crawled out of the bedroom at 9:30.  He agreed about the bitter part... apparently he had noticed! :)

I said, "I think I just need like one week where I can sleep in and you get up with the girls.  Just  like 5 days."

His response:  "5 days of getting up at 5:30??  That's crazy!!"  

I think the fact that my eyebrows raised into my hairline and my mouth opened so wide and yet no sound came out was probably the giveaway that he had said something stupid.  I started laughing, and said, "you think?!?!"  He laughed too, and when I asked him if he was laughing because of how crazy that sounded, he admitted that it was.  He knows how lucky he is!!  I think the next thing I said was, "I hate you... just so you know.  And I want to punch you in the face."  I told him, "oh buddy, I'm soooo going to write about this."  He laughed.  He knew how ridiculous he sounded.  He knew he was busted!!

I have to cut him a break though.  Danny's a phenomenal dad.  He really is!  And it was my idea for him to sleep.  I really do believe that it's pointless for him to be up and tired if I can handle the girls in the morning by myself.  But the female part of me also wants to blame him for something that isn't his fault.  It isn't his fault that I agreed to let him sleep in, then get mad when he does.  It isn't his fault that Gracie has mornings where I swear she is the spawn of Satan!   But that doesn't matter to the female part of me... the female part of me comes in to wake him up after a morning like that, sees him snuggled into bed all comfy and cozy, and wants to smother the poor bastard with a pillow for having the audacity to actually sleep like I told him to!  It isn't his fault when he comes out, and I sweetly ask, "how did you sleep babe?" that I want to kick him in the teeth when he says "really good, thanks!" because I think he should have at least had the compassion to have a crappy sleep if I had to deal with screaming children all morning!

Really though, our arrangement works 99% of the time.  Danny is lucky to have a wife that is a morning person and doesn't mind him sleeping in most of the time.  And he would totally get up at 5:30 this week if I really wanted him to feed Ella (even thought he really does think 5:30 is crazy!), and he would get up at 7:00 and deal with Gracie if I needed him to.  But I don't.  I just need to vent sometimes about how lucky he is.  I need to threaten him with bodily harm, tell him he's a lazy little bugger, and swear I'm going to murder him in his sleep sometimes.  He knows I'm joking... and if I wasn't, he would never hear me coming because of the earplugs! :)