Girls don't just simply decide to hate their bodies,
we teach them to.
This quote cannot be any truer. It's kind of a given in society for a woman to hate her body. If not all of it, at least something. My ankles are too fat, my hair is too curly, my stomach is too flabby, my butt is too small, my thighs are too big, my boobs are too tiny. I don't think I have ever heard a single woman say "I'm happy with my body, just the way it is."
What is wrong with us?! Why do we not see the beauty that is being a woman? Why can we not accept our bodies the way they are, and love them? And why, dear lord, do we feel the need to pass this self-deprecating behaviour onto our impressionable young girls?? Even if we don't do it deliberately, talking badly about ourselves is something they must hear every day. Lord knows we do it in front of them often enough. And if that behaviour is something they see as "normal," well of course they are going to grow up looking for things about themselves that they are not happy with.
It would never occur to a mother to ever say to her daughter "you sure are pretty, but you really need to start running before those turn into thunder thighs." Yet we say the same things about ourselves all the time!
How often has your significant other said to you, "you sure look beautiful today," and you've responded with "thanks, but..." But what? But my hair is a mess today? But I feel really fat in these jeans? But I wish my belly didn't stick out as far? I've done it so many times! It's like we feel the constant need to remind ourselves that we're not perfect!
So many times the girls have been doing super cute things and I yell for Danny to grab the camera. And then I say, "wait, I'll take the picture so I don't have to be in it." Really?!? I don't want to be in a picture with my own children because I'm afraid of what I may look like? And I say this in front of my daughters?? Oh my...
Some day, Gracie and Ella are going to to be 13-year old beauties. And they're going to be learning about boys, learning about make-up, learning about highschool, and the worst of all... learning that they're not supposed to like themselves. And they will be learning this, despite the fact that I will tell them both every single day how beautiful they are. They will be learning this because the majority of women in their lives will inadvertently pass that message on to them.
Life as a woman is hard. Girls can be nasty to each other! Some of the worst moments in my high school life came from the other girls, some of them my "friends" even. Girls are so hard on each other that we surely don't need to be hard on ourselves. The girls will have enough challenges to face, without inheriting insecurity and hatred for their own bodies.
So in the mornings when I'm putting my makeup on and Gracie joins me in the bathroom and asks for some, I'll take the time to teach her a lesson... "Gracie, you are so pretty. And isn't mommy pretty too?" And as weird as that feels, as wrong as it feels, at least she'll see that it's okay to like yourself! It's okay to think you look pretty. When Danny says, "Sammy, you look beautiful today." I'll say "thank you!" and smile. That's it. No more buts! I'll teach the girls that it's okay to accept a compliment without pointing out your faults.
It's a sad thought that we teach our girls to hate their own bodies... but it's so very true. And with enough worries in this world for little girls, with so much stress for teenage girls, with so much hatred already in the world for women to deal with, I think I owe it to my daughters to teach them to love. Not just each other and those around them, but most importantly... themselves!!
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